I Owe So Many People "Thank You's"

DISCLAIMER: If you are a Tennessee fan who is taking things in stride after this weekend, do not read any further. Also, if you are easily offended, have high blood pressure, a heart condition or are pregnant (Schwie, your tough; you'll be fine - keep reading), you should not read further. After my trip to Gainesville this weekend, I realized just how many things I have to be thankful for and how I need to say "Thank You" more often than I do. So, here is my list of "Thank You's" following our trip to Gainesville:

1) Thank You Phillip Fulmer for your $1 MM donation to my alma mater. While I am sure this money will be put to good use buying maxi-pads to wrap up Eric Ainge's injured pinky or extra cups for Coker's additional marijuana testing, you might have considered hiring a special team's coach. Spotting each team we play 7 points on punt returns is a strategy that is not paying off.

2) Thank You Mrs. Ramke, my second grade teacher, who taught me all of the math skills that are necessary to analyze Saturday's game statistics:
a) Net Rushing Yards - FLA 255 is greater than TN 37
b) Total Net Yards - FLA 554 is greater than 298
c) And most importantly, Score FLA 59 TN 20

3) Thank You Arian Foster, for giving us all a chuckle last week, when you used the word "equanimity" in the correct context when describing Eric Ainge's poise, proving that you are a student athlete. I really wish that would have geen all you "gave" last week. Instead, you "gave" Florida 6 points with your pitch to the linebacker at the least opportune moment. With your huge vocabulary, you must be a literature major, because your performance in big games never lacks the element of Shakespearean tragedy.

4) Thank You to the Florida fans, who were trying to make me feel better (they were actually heckling me) by saying "Tennessee - 2nd in the SEC". I WISH!!! We may be the 2nd best team in East Tennessee this year, as Maryville high school is looking pretty strong again. Thanks also to the Cave Man who posed for my picture... Classy.

5) Thank YouUrban Meyer. You are an arrogant prick and remind me why I hate everything "gator". I hope that the next coach at Tennessee remembers you throwing the ball in the 4th quarter to run the score up and pays you back some day. I also hope that LSU stomps your guts out this year (although Les Miles is in the same category).

6) Thank You Notre Dame for giving me something to cheer for (or I should say against) this college football season, as I would otherwise have nothing to cheer about. Although it is too late to get you on our schedule this year, reading that you were blown out... AGAIN... and that Rick Clausen was sacked 6 times almost made me feel better.

7) Thank You Kentucky for beating an over-rated Louisville team. Your victory makes me realize that we have the opportunity to accomplish what no other Tennessee team has in my life-time, finishing dead last in the SEC East. Vanderbilt may be the only team that stands between this team and immortality.

8) Thank You Laddy and Mark Clark for your eternal optimism in the face of this game. Laddy, let this stand as your first lesson in Tennessee football. Clark, you should have known better. (Laddy also wins text message of the game with his "my confidence has subsided" text during the 3rd quarter).

9) Thank You to the Florida linebacker that reminded me of the great biblical story of David and Goliath. In the 2nd quarter, outweighed by your opponent by 85 lbs, you did not cower. Instead, you ran full speed ahead, blasting our right guard to the ground and then ran 5 more yards to make the tackle. That moment provided clarity for me of where the game was headed.

10) Seriously, Thank You Sarah and Greg for being excellent hosts this weekend. It was great to see you guys. Greg, you are a true gentleman. Having only hung out with us a few times, you were gracious enough to pick us up and take us to the airport at extremely perverse hours. My apologies for the effects of my "cheap" ticket search. We really enjoyed spending time with you guys. Thanks also to Salim and Kelly Bradley for hosting us (and arranging a parking spot) at your tailgate. It was wonderful to see you guys; I wish we could have hung out longer. For those who have not heard by now, Kelly is 5 months pregnant.

This rant was quite therapeutic. I promise to drop my negativity and get back to more traditional blogging after I re-hydrate from the game. I haven't been so hot since Larry Wray lured me to Greve by telling me it would be air conditioned.